It’s All My Mom’s Fault

I decicate this Green Thumb Sunday to my mom.

So, why do I eat, sleep, and breathe gardening?

I always say I love gardening because it’s very meditative.
It clears my mind and helps me to feel at peace.
It helps me to feel connected.
It makes me feel part of the earth.
It’s because I love to watch things grow.

The truth is, it’s my mom’s fault that I love to garden.

My mother loved gardening.

She got her love for gardening from her mother who together with her immigrant husband started a fruit farm in Washington State.

When I was a little girl my mom would spend all her spare time in her garden. And her time was extremely limited since she raised three kids on her own, worked full time, cooked all the meals and made all our clothes. Yet, there she was, weeding, hoeing, and clipping.

She used to ask me to help her weed her garden. I dreaded this. Weed? Weed? They will only grow back, why bother. Isn’t Batman on?

Sometimes my mom would come running in the back door in and say, “I want you to come and see something.”

I knew what these words meant. What she wanted me to see was some sort of project she had just completed in her garden. She would say, “Hurry!” as though our whole yard was suddenly going to rip itself free from the earth, get up, and run away. Maybe afraid of what my mom might do to it next.

I would go along with her grudgingly, rolling my eyes behind her back as she presented her latest effort. It looked sort of the same to me only rearranged a little and cleaner, less leaves.

I would say. “Looks great mom,” turn on my heel, and head back in the house to watch the latest episode of “The Monkees” My mother would still be standing there mesmerized as though she were looking at Quentin Marsalis’ soul.

My mother was also a thief. Well, she didn’t knock off 7/11’s or anything like that. She stole plants. And I was her accomplice. This was the only part of gardening I liked. We would throw some burlap sacks and a shovel into the back of her 67’ Camaro and then we were off.

My mom would drive up to the mountains where there was no traffic and drive slowly along until she would spy some beautiful fern or euphorbia or wild Iris. Then she would stop, take out her shovel and scoop it up, put it into the burlap sack and drive away.

She would also walk through nurseries and other people’s gardens snapping off pieces of plants and putting them into her pocket. I didn’t really like seeing her do this. There was something disconcerting about seeing your mom stealing in plain sight of other people. My life in foster homes flashing in front of my eyes, while my mom did time for swiping pelargoniums.

These were the only times my mom ever did anything remotely questionable.

Our house was always filled with fresh vegetables and fruits from my mom’s garden. My mom canned and made jelly and jam so we could enjoy the fruits of her labor all year round. She harvested and shelled every last walnut saved from the squirrels from our nine walnut trees. She filled coffee cans with them and gave them away for Christmas for lack of disposable cash.

My mother always found great joy in every aspect of gardening. I guess it rubbed off without me even noticing.

I was lucky. Before my mother passed, I realized my great love of gardening and I was able to share with her my passion. We were able to spend much time together in nurseries buying plants, sometimes stealing them. Going out to lunch with the window on my station wagon cracked so all the plants we had stuffed in the back could breathe.

Now I go to the nursery with my boys. My moms voice in my head, a secret dialogue I share with her. I hear her laughing, telling me what she likes, what she thinks I would like, and what I should do in my garden. She still influences me and always will.

Here is my Postscript:

If your mother is still alive, enjoy her, even if she drives you a bit crazy.

Happy Mother's Day.

Happy Gardening.

Comments

[Kalyn]

What a lovely post in memory of your mother. My own mom died in 1998 and I miss her every day still.

[Wicked Gardener]

What touching post. I think I'll call my mom now. :)

[Genie]

Chigiy, what a beautiful post, and a wonderful tribute to your Mom. Happy Green Thumb Sunday to you, and a happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there.

[kimmy ratcliff]

hello chigiy I read your post and I thought it was wonderful!!!! Tell Liam I had fun playing basketball with him at school.

-Tanner Ratcliff

[Ruth]

What a beautiful post; your Mum certainly did well teaching you the joys of gardening.

[Acey]

What a beautiful tribute to your mother. The joy she encouraged you to develop shines brightly.

[Lily Rodriguez]

Happy Mother's Day Chigiy! We love you! Vince has warm profound memories of his Grandma Trena's backyard. He too spent hours with her in her garden. We are thinking of you both today! XOXO!

[Sara]

A beautifully written post and a wonderful legacy of the love of gardening. I am bringing the garden I have inherited back to life in the memory of my husband's grandma.
Sara from farmingfriends in the UK

[Michelle]

A beautiful post. It's it amazing the things that we inherit, like gifts that sustain us after the ones we love are gone? I'm so glad that your mother shared this gift with you, even if it was against your will at first. LOL!

[Amber]

Very touching, and I enjoyed the pictures of your mom too. What a lovely tribute. I'm going to forward to my mom!

[chigiy]

kalyn,
I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Mom's are hard to lose. No one loves you like your mom:)

Dear Wicked Gardener,
Calling your mom is what this post is all about. Thanks.

Genie,
Thank you. Happy GTS to you too.

[chigiy]

Hey Tanner,
Thank you for reading my post.
How is your blog going?

Liam said he had fun too.

Keep on blogging:)

Dear Ruth and Acey,
Thank you for visiting!

Dear Lily,
Thank you for the beautiful comment. Hope to see you soon!

[Sheena]

I enjoyed this post. Your mom truly had a passion for gardening. I can blame my green thumb on my mother as well, she has a jungle growing in her living room and soon I will too!

[kate]

Your mum taught you well - even though The Monkees or Batman might have been more important at the time, you were soaking up your mum's passion. I love the thought of your mum liberating plants and plant bits. That would have been fun!!

I loved your pictures which went along so well with your words.

[Rich]

Your mother was the greatest.
Except for you.
xoxo -r

[graham]

Great pictures, Chigiy. The more recent ones brought back a flood of fond memories. I remember what an amazing woman your mom was. Trena Edson was the happiest person I knew. She always had a smile on her face. In fact, the only times I ever saw her mad was when the idiot next door chopped down a 75-year-old magnolia tree, and when I told her I'd voted Republican in November 2000.

[chigiy]

Sara,
Thanks for visiting.
Enjoy bringing that garden back to life.

Michelle,
I have to beg or threaten my boys to help me in the garden. I always wonder if they will pick up the "gardening bug" or not. I hope they do.

Amber,
I'm glad you liked it.
I hope your mom likes it too.

[chigiy]

Sheena,
Moms are the best.
Enjoy your jungle.

Kate,
Thank you. My mom was very consevative in many ways, this made stealing plants with her all the more fun.

Rich,
Thanks honey.
I love you.

[paree]

So tender and sweet, yet funny. I think I am PMSing because I am in tears thinking of my own mom, your lost mom and all the other moms out there. The pictures were toooo great!

[chigiy]

David,
My mom loved you a lot. She was happy to share her yard with you.
I'm sure she was disappointed that you voted Republican.
There was speculation at her memorial service that a Republican in the White House may have contributed to her untimely death.
In spite of your political beliefs, you were still one of her favorite people.

[chigiy]

Paree,
You are so sweet.
You have a wonderful family.
Enjoy them.

[Ladyseashells]

I love your story about your mom, she truly had the passion for gardening. She sounds like me... picking seeds from the park or neighborhood's flowers, while on walk. One time i tried to break the twig of a hydrangea to grow from cutting but then the whole thing got pulled off. My husband said.. soon we will end up in jail, just for the love of flowers. Lucky the hydrangea survive.